They will surprise you with how much they are constantly improving to be a better version of themselves. About 55 percent of people have secure attachment. So, they hide aspects of their lives that make them feel vulnerable. This failure to support partners during stressful times is typical of those with avoidant attachment styles. Because avoidants take their time letting people in, the relationships they do form are deeper and more meaningful. Self-awareness is the first step toward making changes that benefit you.
And yet, when we bounce back too quickly from a failed relationship, others may see us as shallow or insensitive, and we ourselves may be puzzled and even feel guilty.
Romance, Dating and Trauma
Even then, it took another eight years for me to pull off having a long-term, serious relationship, much as I wanted one. Psychologists and relationship experts now have a term for such traits which is known as an avoidant attachment disorder. The notion of avoidant attachment disorder actually takes from the concept of different attachment styles laid down by the 's, psychologist Mary Ainsworth Ainsworth. Over time, psychologists have further refined this idea to argue that early childhood attachment patterns predict adult attachment styles in romantic relationships later in life. Influence of Attachment Style and Gender. Secure people will generally be best able to understand your avoidant nature and be willing to accept it and adjust their expectations about the relationship to take into account your need for privacy, independence, and alone time.